There are many facts of life. For example, the fact that we all age is commonly accepted. The fact that family requires investment in both time and energy is important to ensure its health is also true, although not always understood.
Unfortunately, the fact that disputes are often inevitable between those who live in proximity or spend a great deal of time together, or are tied by circumstances beyond their control is often also true.
This is a collaborative post.
Sooner or later, you may find yourself in some kind of dispute with your family. Of course, sometimes, this is small. Perhaps your sibling is unhappy that you’re unable to fly out for their wedding, despite them requiring you to purchase plane tickets half the world away to attend, something not financially feasible to you without help). Often, family issues and arguments like this can dissipate or will resolve positively.
But what if this is not the case? What then? Sometimes, the closeness you have to others in your family can make this situation all the more suffocating, and that can be a problem. With the following advice, we hope you can find the resolution you seek:
An impartial service
Emotions can run high in family life, particularly when it comes to touchy subjects. For example, if an elderly family member of yours dies and only leaves a very vague will, it can be that this brings out the worst in your family members, all gasping for a piece of the pie. This is especially true if your relative had real value to their name.
An impartial service, such as Bannister Preston, proven to be experts in family law, will be the best means of getting situations such as this resolved. Of course, this is hardly the toughest task when it comes to familial disputes, especially when financial matters are involved. Having that legal backing to help you get to the right result as you also utilize a mediation service for contact, you will surely find the best solution.
One of the largest and most common problems that surround most forms of family discourse is the unwillingness to stay consistent in your approach. It’s very easy to wish to remove all negativity or hostility between yourself and family members, and so you might find yourself backpedalling, and this can sometimes be taken advantage of.
For example, if you find that you’re not happy with your nephew always having to reside at your home because their parents seem to think you will look after him whenever they wish to have a meal out, it can be important to stay consistent about your needs, and to continually be fair in your communication.
Then, keep up the same standards for everyone else. This will ensure you are a fair relative, and one respected within the family. This may not solve the disputes, but it can help you move through them as your most stable self.
Reducing emotional voltage
When a family starts to argue, every single member of the family can raise this disagreement to a nuclear level should they try. Every family, to some extent, has its dysfunctional moments. These may stretch back years, ever since a cousin hiccuped at an inopportune time during a Christening, or perhaps relating back to when you had trouble attending the wedding rehearsal of one of your siblings.
If there is an underpinning hostility or even minor sense of displeasure, it’s easy for families on otherwise good terms to let bad circumstances bring the worst out of them. Before you know it, decades or even generations of mild disagreements become brought up.
Of course, this is not to say that your family is comprised of toxic people with long memories, nor do they need to be overly volatile for this to become a possibility. There’s something quite odd about the nature of closeness in a family that can permit some people to act in this way, despite how impermissible it is.
Our advice to you is to avoid stirring up trouble just because. ‘Scoring points’ between family members rarely calms things down, and while it can feel as though you have to force yourself to be around family members, you are also able to choose who you wish to spend your time with. When you reduce that emotional voltage, you can rationally and impartially work around the issue – to the extent that it’s possible.